So I’ve been on a “break” from college since May and I NEED to go back. Basically I was completely unhappy at my old school, wasn’t in the major I wanted to be in, went into a rut, didn’t do the work, failed, and pretty much fucked up big time. I could have continued in Fall 2011 and gone on academic probation, but I didn’t because I just didn’t want to be there anymore and my parents supported(somewhat) my choice. Also I was scared and doubted myself. My cumulative GPA went from a 3.0 to a 1.34, and obviously that is just unacceptable. At my other colleges (went to 2 before this one and earned an associate degree) and high school I was always a good, attentive student, and even a kiss up to the teachers. I was always told I was an “asset” to the class and I had a lot of good ideas. My friends would always come to me for homework help and to look over their papers (I’m a damn good essay writer). Then I went to a school because it was supposedly a great school, affordable, and my dad wanted me to go there. I had no business being there, I hated it, became depressed, and then the above happened. Now I’m ready to get back in the swing of things and go to school and get my degree. I know I can concentrate and put in the extra effort to do beyond well. But the question is, where do I go? Who is going to take me after I fucked up like that? Did I completely screw myself over? I honestly think it would be good for me to go away to school and just be in a different environment with a fresh start. But is 21 too old to go away to school? And is it wise to take out loans to finish a year or two of college? If I go local, my parents will pay for it in full, but will I be happy at one of the two schools I can go to? I know I’m supposed to do what’s best for me, but I really don’t know what that is. Having worked retail for a few years, I know I could never be stuck in it the rest of my life like some of these people are and I’m destined to do more. I want to apply myself, and get involved, and not screw up anymore. I want to be happy. Not the happy for a day because I just bought a new something that I’m excited about, but truly happy. I think that will only come from getting my life together and getting a degree and a job I’m content with. All I know is if I’m not in school for the Fall 2012 semester, than I’m just digging myself deeper into a hole. I have to decide what to do and where to go, and I better do so soon.
I posted these on my music blog, but here are my end of the year lists. =)
Albums: 1. I Am The Avalanche – Avalanche United 2. Maker – Mirrors 3. Mayday Parade – Mayday Parade 4. Crucial Dudes – 61 Penn 5. Fireworks – Gospel 6. A Loss For Words – No Sanctuary 7. Heartsounds – Drifter 8. Thursday – No Devolucion 9. The Dangerous Summer – War Paint 10. Transit – Listen & Forgive 11. The Wonder Years – Suburbia 12. Balance and Composure – Separation 13. Foster The People - Torches 14. This Time Next Year – Drop Out Of Life 15. Polar Bear Club – Clash Battle Guilt Pride 16. Hail Mary Mallon – Are You Gonna Eat That? 17. Title Fight – Shed 18. Sparks The Rescue – Worst Thing I’ve Been Cursed With 19. Funeral Party – The Golden Age of Nowhere 20. This Love – At War 21. Cults – Cults 22. Into It. Over It. - Proper 23. New Found Glory – Radiosurgery 24. Friendly Fires - Pala 25. Beastie Boys – Hot Sauce Committee Pt.2
EPs/Splits: 1. Daytrader – Last Days Of Rome 2. Glassjaw – Coloring Book 3. Glassjaw – Our Color Green 4. State Champs – Apparently, I’m Nothing 5. Such Gold/A Loss For Words – Split 6. Hit The Lights – Invicta 7. A Million Pieces – A Million Pieces 8. Make Do And Mend – Part and Parcel 9. Holiday Parade – False Alarms 10. Misser – Problems, Problems, Problems 11. We Are The Union – Graveyard Grins 12. The Pierces – You’ll Be Mine 13. Iron Chic – Split N Shit 14. Go Rydell/Grey Area – Split 15. Such Gold/Into It. Over It. – Split 16. The Clippers/Coping – Split 17. Jarrod Gorbel – Bruises From Your Bad Dreams 18. Our Life Story – I’d Rather Change Than Stay The Same 19. The Sheds - …And Now For Something Completely Different 20. YMAEWK – Things Are Really Weird Right Now
Compilations: 1. Run For Cover - Mixed Signals 2. Vs. The Earthquake 3. Topshelf Records Sampler 2011 4. No Sleep Records - No Sleep Till Death 3 5. Hopeless Records – Another Hopeless Summer
Shows: 1. The Movielife/Crime In Stereo/Brand New @ Best Buy Theater 2. Crime In Stereo/Capital/Hostage Calm/Such Gold @ Bergen Point Country Club 3. Bamboozle 2011 Day 2 @ The Meadowlands Parking Lot 4. The Dangerous Summer/Sparks The Rescue/The Graduate @ Studio at Webster Hall 5. Glassjaw @ Best Buy Theater 6. Hit The Lights/A Loss For Words/The Story So Far @ Studio at Webster Hall 7. I Am The Avalanche/Transit/Iron Chic – LI Fest Day 2 8. The Get Up Kids/Saves The Day @ Crazy Donkey 9. Hit The Lights/With The Punches/This Condition @ Ollie’s Point 10.Valencia/Anarbor/Conditions/NGHBRS @ Highline Ballroom